Sup erbody? Quick post on a topic near and dear to my heart right now – waffles
HEY NOW…ok I’m sorry. So I’ve read a few books recently about the deleteriousness of grains and sugars on the brain. I was horrified by what I read. Consumption of “modern grains” has been linked to the onset of neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease, and gluten catalyzes all sorts of ugly responses in the human body. Cue someone saying “But I don’t have Celiac disease so who gives a fck?”, and to this I respond, this is bigger than Celiac disease, so fuck you.
ANYWAY, in July I eliminated grains and most sugars (save "low sugar" fruits) from my diet and I feel fantastic! Heh sike, there’s definitely a very perceptible improvement, but there are still strides to be made. My boyfriend Morgan has a life-long love affair with waffles.
Morgan just now in the other room
He is also pretty gung-ho about experimenting with grain-free/sugar-free meals, so we have created, regretted, and rejiggered various grain-free waffle recipes. I’ll go through a few here, including our earlier experiments in the pre-grain-free days:
1) Regular waffle mix – We used Pamela’s gluten-free pancake mix (rice flour, buttermilk, almond meal, and tapioca flour). Standard fare waffles, i.e. delicious as fuh. I’m not eating gluten-free grains anymore so I probably wouldn’t use this now, but I would highly recommend to gluten-free peeps out there.
2) Oatmeal waffles – We mixed oatmeal with a bit of the gluten-free waffle mix and golden flaxseeds. This is my favorite of all the waffle batches we’ve made. So hearty, so satisfying. My mouth is watering. Must…forget. We made a second variation without the gluten-free mix and they were dense. I really liked em, but I can see how most people would be like…this has gone too far.
3) Coconut meat waffles – We shredded the meat of two coconuts in a food processor, added coconut milk, almond milk, coconut oil, greek yogurt as a binding agent, and waffled the resulting substance. The first attempt had a lot of issues. The meat refused to emulsify with the liquids, so it steamed a ton and basically crumbled back into meat dust.
After the waffle mix turned into dust, Morgan made it into bed for poached eggs. Tres chic.
For attempt #2, we used 6 eggs and more yogurt. I would call attempt #2 a success, but for the fact that we ate 6 fcking eggs for breakfast. The waffles still lacked some structural integrity, but they kinda-sorta held. This batch was very coconutty and dry so I added the leftovers to some greek yog with blueberries. Mmm I miss them. Great as they were, they took an exorbitant amount of time and effort to make, so we probably won’t be making these again any time soon.
4) Coconut flour – You can use premade coconut flour for a fraction of the time investment. We used Trader Joes coconut flour. These taste like standard waffles. Required a hefty egg investment, but that was anticipated from previous waffle failures. Only complaint is the lack of originality.
5) Flaxseed meal waffles – Oh god no. After the first waffle, I could tell something was very wrong. We added more eggs (failure), more yogurt (fail), more grapeseed oil (nope), more yogurt and almond milk (no), and finally 2 MORE eggs, and it was still pretty crumbly. I think our 5th waffle didn’t crumble into nothingness when we touched it and I cried.
6) Banana waffles – Mashed ripe bananas with almond butter. Tasted like dayummmmm.
7) Spinach waffles – Spinach, almonds, coconut oil, coconut flour, coconut flakes, almond milk, and eggs to a food processor. We ended up just making pancakes out of the mix. Was A+.
Ok I am getting tired here so just a quick note from Morgan…